The movie Sister Act is a great movie. I know there maybe some who would not agree. And that would be alright. I have watched the movie many times over the last few years. There are a couple of scenes in particular that really speak to me as it relates to faith and the living out of faith. Continue reading Reflections on a Motion Picture | “Out Of Bed You Daisy Head”
Last Friday evening I spent some time with a good friend as he prepared to marry his future bride. It was great. I have had the pleasure of being a part of several weddings in the course of my ministry. But tonight I was struck by one of the many rituals that we have in our culture during weddings. The wedding rehearsal went well. Then the entire wedding party went to a nice dinner at a local restaurant. Everything was just going splendidly. Then came the moment of the night that stood out.
As the evening was drawing to a close the time for speeches began. Now, it would be very bad form to badmouth the bride or groom. But, I am sure that in the history of humanity and in the history of weddings somebody has made this terrible choice. Well, we were all spared this on Friday night.
It is a wonderful moment to witness when two people are the recipients of love through kind words. Family and friends were saying true things about the couple. They were sharing memories and experiences. It was a wonderful time to see how God had been at work, how God has brought these two individuals together.
What I wonder some times is why do we wait for “special” occasions to say true things? Isn’t every moment spent with those we care for a special enough time to share and encourage and demonstrate our love? I was reminded of this on Friday. I want to do better at telling people what they mean to me. I hope you will do the same.
On Wednesday night David Austin Balfour, a member of my high school graduating class, died in a car accident.
Since I heard about David’s death I have had this gnawing feeling in my gut. It’s one of those feelings that just won’t go away. When these kinds of events happen I can’t help but think about it. And when the event includes something that just doesn’t make sense I really have to try and make some sense of it. I have to think about it over and over until some clarity comes. It came to me this afternoon as I read and re-read what so many who cared about David said and wrote on his Facebook page.
There are so many questions that we want answers to. There are so many thoughts about what was and what could have been. Even what should have been. There are so many memories of good times and hopes for “soon” times. There are so many words, ideas and desires that were shared. But, that is where our grief and heartbreak crash headlong into our regret.
While it has been many years since I have seen David, I understand the emotions that come in moments like this. My brother-in-law also died in a car accident a year ago. He was 24 years old. I get it. I do. What makes these hours and days since David’s death so painful is the reminder that while many things WERE said, and many things WERE shared, there remains this feeling of “What I Should Have Said…” still lingering.
The questions that come to mind are like these:
- Did he know how much I cared for him? About him?
- Did he understand how much he meant to me?
- Why didn’t I ever tell him how much it meant to me that one time he did… fill in the blank.
All of these ideas run through our minds because the thought that something that should have been said was left unsaid begins to fray at the edges of our sanity. Regret is the constant reminder that something was left unfinished. There is something incomplete about all of this. Take it from me, don’t go there. Don’t do that. It won’t change anything. And it may do more harm than good.
What we have to do is to not let this tragedy be in vain. Would we prefer that David were here with us? Yes, there is no doubt about it. I don’t know of anyone that wouldn’t want that. But, we don’t get to make that choice. That one, that one choice, is outside of our reach. But, there is another choice that we can still make. It’s a choice that I think both honors David and helps us all to heal if we make it.
Make the decision to never again worry about, “What I Should Have Said.” Make the decision, that from today until the end of your days, you will strive to not leave any unfinished business. Right now, today, tell that someone, the one you are thinking about right now, who needs to hear from YOU that thing that you have been waiting for the “right” time to say.
There is no better time than now.
There will never be a better day, than today.
In the movie Tangled, Rapunzel and Flynn Rider have finally arrived to see the moving “stars.” They share this exchange about what will happen after the lanterns go into the sky. Rapunzel is afraid that the moment will not live up to the expectations that she has had for 18 years. But, then there is another thought, what if it is everything that she hoped it would be? What would she do then? Flynn’s response is wonderful in its simplicity. He says, “That’s the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.” That is such a wonderful demonstration of what it means to have dreams, live them and then move on to newer dreams.
What makes this scene even more powerful is that the king and queen continued to release their lantern every year in the hopes that there daughter would never forget that she was loved. The expressions on their faces, the hurt and love all mingled together. And then, as they approach the lantern the camera pans over the courtyard and you see the people of the kingdom. They have come to participate and help the king and queen commemorate this painful reality.
I am struck by these two dreams. Rapunzel’s dream of being close enough to the lanterns to know what they meant and to experience them for herself had pushed her to escape her tower prison. Her parent’s dream of finding their daughter were also being expressed in their faithful dedication to remember their lost daughter. The parent’s dream was feeding and stirring the dream of their daughter.
This complex scene is so powerful because of the simple way that it was done. Even the subtle hint of the lanterns reminding you of Rapunzel’s hair is hard to escape.
The video is below. (You may have to follow the link to see it.)